I am drunk, so this needs to be talked about.
Life is awful right now. Well, maybe not awful, but it could be a lot better.
I was supposed to come into this year, being all “I’m taking art classes, I have a boyfriend, and I’m living with some of my closest friends.” I’ve already addressed one of these issues, and it’s not the worst. It sucks, but I can deal.
Living with this giant ass hole I live with right now is the worst, and I can’t deal. He is the worst mother fucker I have ever met. He’s condescending, he’s homophobic, he narcissistic. And he’s stealing some of my closest friends. I luckily have other people who see my point of view, but its sort of late to contact them now.
My one roommate who seems to be enamored with him thinks we’re similar. I see what she’s trying to get at, but she’s wrong. She thinks we’re both narcissistic, she’s wrong. He legitimately thinks he’s hot shit because he occasionally fucks bitches (who probably have no self esteem). Me? I want attention because I’m terrified. I’m afraid the world won’t see my worth so I crave validation. I’m like the girls he fucks.
Yes, before you accuse me of being jealous, let me admit to it first. He gets all the positive attention and I’m thrown off to the side being seen as a whiny bitch. And I fucking hate it. It’s not fair. He has no redeeming qualities. He does nothing that benefits himself. He thinks constantly pointing things out you’re doing wrong is helping you, but it’s really just showing “why he’s better than you.”
HATE. HATE HATE. THAT’S ALL MY LIFE IS NOW.
AND I HATE IT.
HELLO DRUNK BLOG.
THIS HAS BEEN A LONG TIME BECAUSE OF REASONS.
LIKE I GOT BORED.
BUT FANTASTIC NEWS. I AM 21 NOW SO THAT HAPPENED.
I got really drunk at a bar and I don’t remember a lot about but I’m not just going to recap things I want to talk about feelings. feelings are always more interesting right?! yes.
So I had been seeing a guy and then he dumped me after like, a week of actually being together because he felt “we rushed things” and that he wasn’t feeling “emotionally invested.” so he’s a cunt.
Now I’m sad and I just want a boyfriend. I wasn’t broken hearted that this guy in particular dumped me, I was just sad that my chance at being in a relationship again was crushed. And now I just want someone to love again because I am lonely. Blaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.
Did I already do the “I hate my roommate rant?” Because I don’t want to do that right now. But I need to just start dating again because its’ really hard. I need to start going to the gym regularly again so I can be attractive.
Uhh this blog is really sad, so tl:dr; I’m lonely.
lolololol HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I am. Drunk.
andddd on FLOORRR. I dunno why caps happend but it did but I have a few things to talk bout tonight.
The first part is social justicey. Now, I’m not a big fan of a lot of social justice unless it concerns me because I’m human and humans are selfish, and frankly, I do think a lot of social justice involves reading into things to far. But some of it is cool because their is definitely not enough equality in the world and some people are ass holes ( I’m an ass hole too but that’s another level of assholery EVERYTHING IS FLUID)
Ok so this is queer social justice and it’s pretty white bread basic. Like, fuck you. I don’t care how often some gay guy hits on you, it’s NOT ok to call him a “fag.” And frankly, I use the word a lot. I know I shouldn’t. It’s not even “taking it back” when I use it. But when you try to justify that there is a difference between a “gay” and a “fag,” you’re a douchebag. Look, I get it. Sometimes people are REALLY flamboyant, and that CAN be a little obnoxious, but that’s just who they are! Shut the fuck up and let them be. And really, I get that you may have tried to explain to them that you’re “straight” and “arent interested,” but its not helping you’re case when you’re socially inept enough to not understand when people want you to stop talking. Also ripping your shirt off in front of them probably isn’t helping. (I’m only assuming you do this because you say this is a frequent occurance in your drinking.)
Also, stop it. Just because a guy is flamboyant doesn’t make him less of a man. It just makes him a different kind of man. Get your dick out of your hand, and l2 gender spectrum, asshole.
Social Justice is a very weird topic for me. There are definitely points that I can get behind. Like today, when I witnessed 2 cops pull over this tiny old black woman, I was like “You don’t need 2 cops for this. She was barely speeding. This seems racist.” or when assholes mentioned above start making really tactless really ass-holey rape jokes. But then sometimes it seems like it goes too far and goes against itself, when it starts talking about white men. I get that so many white men are douchebags (example: dan cathy). But it makes me sad when people think all white people are like that. But I do get that we sometimes make offensive comments without realizing it because it’s what the media has ingrained us to think was true, and that should be fixed! But it’s really stupid when I see things that are like “Oh hay, white people aren’t allowed to have dreadlocks! They don’t get it and that’s for black people only!” or “Black women shouldn’t straighten their hair that’s whitewashing!” Why aren’t we allowed to blend cultures? Wouldn’t that be a good thing? I mean, we should totally remember where things originated and why, but I think we should definitely share. It’s sort of discriminatory/supremist to say that someone can’t wear their hair in a certain way.
I do know that “can’t we all just get along and make one big happy super-culture where everyone loves each other?” is a huge white ideal, probably because everything would turn out “white” as people view it. But would it be ok if we could find a balance between the two? And I only use “two” because it seems EVERYONE forgets about the Asian counties. Though, granted, a lot of Japanese/Chinese culture shows up in America, I feel. Or maybe that’s just my friends.
I digress, though. I would like us all to get along. I don’t like it when people are screaming at each other (read as: me for being white (cue: oh boo hoo you’re white so sorry for yelling)). I just really don’t think it’s a good way to help the cause. I’m really a fan of “Oh, hey, that’s offensive. I’m not going to get mad at you, but please, let me inform you on why that was offensive and don’t do it again.”
But, I guess I know what I say doesn’t matter, because I’m a white male and I have white and male privileged that I need to check if my opinions don’t match yours. #maybealittlebitter
I do keep my social justice blogs around, to keep me educated and maybe someday I’ll get it. It’s just not clicking yet. But I guess I’m somewhat more informed that cissexual white males? (I know terminology! That’s good, right?)
But other than that one blurb where I yelled at people for being homophobic, tonight has been sort of fun. My roommate has a hot new boyfriend and I’m jealous of her because he’s pretty fucking fine. But he’s straight, oh well. I do sort of have my own guy going on in my life, and that’s nice. I haven’t met him yet, I met him on OKCupid. But he goes to a school right down the road, so I should meet him soon when he gets back. <: I’m excited, he’s nice, and cute.
There’s a girl I’m supposed to keep awake on my bed. -oh, wait, she’s had to throw up. I took her to the bathroom. It feels nice to take care of people, like you’re doing something good. But I’m going to close this up for now because of that.
I think these letters are going to begin to addressed to the general public instead of myself. Because. It sounds stupid now.
So I moved this weekend to my apartment for the school year. So I didn’t get to drink too much last weekend, and when I did I passed out and told my friend through another friend that she needed to open our apartment door with earthbending. At least I got the right type of bending?
Shit, I should really be more drunk for this. My asshole roommate decided to buy 40 proof flavored rum because “hur hur hur this sounds good.” Yeah, good if you’re a BITCH.
Why is the only one qualified to buy alcohol still 20?
Did I say that? No, shh. Stop it.
Butts. Butts butts butts. I don’t have anything else to say. I mean, actually I do. But it’s not something I should really publicly post until I’ve had like, a few shots/cups of gin.
Taste No Evil
I love tequila. But it tastes awful. I took a risk on this drink, and it turned out surprisingly well!
-1 part Tequila
-1 part Orange Juice
-1 part Banana Juice/Syrup
I can’t taste the tequila. Its delicious.
I am writing to you derek because we want you to join our circle of friends. Our group could really use a derek to provide us with endless entertainment of the dereky variety. We’ve been looking for you on craigslist, but so far, you have not answered our calls. please come and join us, Derek. You would be a wonderful addition.
Here are some reasons that you, Derek, should join us:
C’mon, Derek. Clearly, you’re meant for us. You’re the only one that would make our social life complete. The fans have voted, and “Derek” is the most popular name for a new characters. Also, Brett likes to “swallow the cock.” And so do I! How great is that?
Hopefully you will request admittance to our social crcle in the morning.
Matty & Friends.
So todays alcohol included 4loko and that gets the dru k fast and the ick fast. I havejt fhrown up yet but it feels like I should especially with the 151 shots. But. Um. Korra marathoned tonight and also a cool thunderstorm and I’m tired by e
Flaming shot from last night
ok so hi.
So tonight we did something different in that my friends and I pitched in to buy a singe bottle of Bacaradi 151 and drink exclusively that (except for me and my friend, who had a drink I poured last night that I never finished, and she finished her Margarita, which was frozen.) So tonight was 151 night and I’m pretty fucking drunk, even though I’m still lingering for what I’m calling “inactive party effect.” That doesn’t necessarily mean boring, like last weekend, but we sat at a table and talked while drunk. We had good moments, but it wasn’t wild like previous weekends. A lot of our friends have been out of town during the weekends, so we haven’t really been able to have big crowds.
So tonight I was thinking about doing a vlog instead of just a normal blog, but I didn’t think it was going to be interesting enough and then I got immediately camera shy.
Does this blog seem abnormally comprehensive to you guys? I feel like this blog is making more sense than usual. Shit, is it getting easier to type when drunk? That’s bad business.
um, we lit shit on fire! I’ll post pictures and videos of that when I sober edit this in the morning! Because that was really cool. But.
Damn, in retrospect, tonight wasn’t really blog worthy. I’m just going to kill it here. Since i want to go to sleep anyway.
Hopefully soon I’ll have another shit show.
P.S. I am really drunk though, I swear. I’ve been staggering and twirling and I just feel like a hot mess. I need water. Good night.
Also, weird: I’ve been really obsessed with Gwen Stefani’s “Cool” lately. I just feel like it describes life right now for me. Talk about throwback, though. I KNOW WE’RE COOL. Bye.
P.S.S: It smells like a fart in my room. I don’t know why. My room is relatively clean and I haven’t farted all day. MYSTERIES OF THE UNEXPLORED.